I never thought I would write a blog. I’m actually a very private person, the kind of person that a lot of people “know,” but few really know. You know? But there’s something kind of liberating and exciting about putting your thoughts out there, and seeing if anyone might relate to these crazy things that run through your head. So here goes…
My name is Heather, and I am a stay-at-home-mom. Yes, I said it that way on purpose. Because it feels like we are a secret underground sect that must keep to ourselves. I find myself trying to figure out if this mom I just met is one too, without actually asking. Because how do you ask without sounding like you think all they do is sit around eating chocolate and watching soaps all day? Even the name we call ourselves is rife with it- I like to stay at home and kick my feet up while my kids run around screaming. I haven’t come up with a better name, though I have tried. Work-at-home-mom? Then people ask me what work I do. I keep my three kids from killing each other, that’s what I do! Oh, and I teach them to be good, intelligent people. Manager of the Segars’ household? That makes me sound like a maid. I like to think I’m a little bit more than that.
Maybe you can think of a better name for us?
Here is our job description…
Raise competent, intelligent children
Keep the house, yard, pets, husband, and children clean
Keep myself from looking like I’ve had three children
Do laundry 24 hours a day
Do dishes 24 hours a day
Teach the kids to crap in the damn toilet
Take the children on fun and educational outings frequently
Be on the PTA at all of my children’s schools
Volunteer at all of my children’s schools
Bake cakes and cookies 50 times a year at all of my children’s schools
Keep track of which child has snack, PE, library check out day, homework, class projects, gymnastics, soccer, show and tell, teacher conferences, IEP meetings, speech therapy, occupational therapy, doctor appointments, dentist appointments, and field trips that day
Listen to the whining and fighting of three small children ALL DAY LONG, and still be sane when my husband gets home
Love and nurture each child in a way unique to their particular personality
Help each child see and explore their strengths, and grow in their weaknesses
Expose them to sports, music, reading, art, friendship, and just life in general
Teach them to understand the emotions and frustrations they experience, and find ways to express them that are healthy and helpful
Never give in to the whining
Clean up their vomit, poop, pee and various bodily fluids while somehow not letting them see how disgusting it is
Drive that damn minivan to and from school, playdates, the grocery store, gymnastics, and all over town while still attempting to be cool
Drive, drive, drive, drive, (whine), drive, (cry), drive, (whine, whine, whine)
Did I mention the driving?
Organize our lives around the sleeping habits of the youngest child, because if baby ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy
Suck it up if I get sick, because Mama don’t get no sick days
I realize as I write this that most of these things apply to all parents- working or not. I guess I just want the world to acknowledge that those of us who have chosen to stay at home with our kids have chosen a valid, and challenging career as well.
And wherever you spend your days; your thoughts, prayers, hopes and fears will always revolve around your children. Because you are Mothers. You carry the weight of the world on your shoulders. And you wear it well!
We are all Mama’s, hear us roar! Some feel super, some not so much. But all of you are. You are the super heroes of this world! The ones that keep the world turning, growing, living. So trudge on dear Mama’s! I know none of you do it for the pats on the back or the glory- but know that I see you. Your children see you. Your spouses, partners, and friends see you. Take this as your pat on the back for the day. There is no one else that could do a better job or love your family as you do. Press on and fight the good fight. You are loved. You are my super hero!